I feel like
I might be older on the outside, but she’s older on the inside. She’s done everything and I’ve done nothing. She’s the kind of girl that parties, I’m the kind that chills. I stand to the side and watch, she takes the spotlight and glory. We’re almost completely and utterly opposite from each other in nature. Sometimes I sit and think about how the hell it happened. I think about how fucking lucky I am because I”m not worthy of someone as amazing as her <3
I’m sick to the stomach
I get weak-kneed thinking about the fact that I don’t know where I”m going in life. I have no legitimate idea what the hell I want to do. I look around and I see people moving on. I see people making plans and moving towards their goals. I look around and I see people preparing, game faces and all. And here I am, doing nothing. My only excuse: We’ll all die one day, and there’s no point in stressing yourself out. Unfortunately, you have to put something in to get something out from life. We’ll all die, but some of us will die having left a mark on the world. Some of us will live to break the stereotypical cycle of being born, living insignificantly and dying. Some of us will go on to be JFK’s or MLK’s. Some of us will go on to change the way the world lives or the way the world thinks for the remainder of the human race’s lifespan. I want to know what my plan is. I’m tired of going around waiting for this shit to just come to me out of nowhere. It pains me to not know. I want to get out of here and be great. I want to get out of here and break the cycle. I want to find out what it is i’m fucking great at. I wish I could just sit around doing whatever I feel like doing, but the fact is that we can’t. Yes, we will die, but that’s insignificant because what matters is what you’ve done before then.
[She’s] better than the girl of my dreams, she’s real.
— 500 days of summer
